Defeated (RANT)

Being happy doesn’t just come natural to everyone. I am most certain;y one of those individuals. Even though i put up a good fight I seem to allow myself to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. Literally, when I actually have time, my massage lady tells my I’m unbelievably tense! So, in saying that I have been seemingly happy as of late. I try to smile more and make lite of situations that would usually be upsetting. By trying to harder to be chill I find a little more peace every day. And then……….

I realize how much happiness other people suck from me!!!! I realize how thoughtless people are!! I realize how selfish people can be!!! I realize how needy people can be!! And then……

I feel defeated!!!

I feel like all my work on personal improvement becomes shattered and broken by other people’s SHIT!! I woke up this morning just wanting to be EVIL!! I wanna tell it like it is and hurt feelings!! I wanna tell the lady I waited on last night that she’s a BITCH!! I wanna tell my co-worker that my whole body hurts and I’m exhausted too, but I don’t feel the need to mention it EVERY FUCKING FIVE MINUTES!!! I’m feeling surrounded by negative, negative people!!

But, I’m a nice person and I don’t hurt people’s feeling and I care about other’s. I would hate to ruin someone’s day with nasty words that weren’t necessary. If only more people were this way! That is ALL!!


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